coping guide

How to Deal with a Breakup

Evidence-informed content reviewed for accuracy and safety

Breakups trigger withdrawal symptoms similar to addiction. Your brain was neurochemically bonded to this person through dopamine and oxytocin, and losing that bond creates real physiological distress.

What to Do Right Now

Remove or mute your ex on social media - checking their profile delays healing.
Let yourself cry or feel sad without judging yourself for it.
Resist the urge to reach out in the first two weeks - emotions need time to settle.
Fill the empty time with activities that engage you, not distract you.

Longer-Term Strategies

Write down what you learned about yourself and what you want in future relationships.
Rebuild your identity outside the relationship - reconnect with old friends and hobbies.
Allow yourself to grieve the future you imagined, not just the person.

When to Seek Professional Help

You are unable to eat, sleep, or function weeks after the breakup.
You are engaging in self-destructive behaviour to cope.
You feel you cannot survive without this person.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to get over a breakup?

Research suggests roughly half the length of the relationship, but this varies enormously. Healing is not linear - you will have setbacks, and that is normal.

Should I stay friends with my ex?

Not immediately. You need distance to heal and rebuild your identity. Friendship may be possible later, but only after the emotional charge has faded significantly.

Browse all coping guides, explore "Is it normal?" articles, get condition-specific support, or read the Paula Blog.

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